Happy 2012

The first day of a new year.  I think, perhaps, I am too hard on myself.  This past year I made a goal for myself but failed it.  I am upset because I never really set goals too high (for the sake of avoidance of failure).  The goal was to read at least three books a month.  While achieving this goal month to month, as December came and went I realized this goal would not be achieved entirely. I managed to squeak one book in for December, but ran out of time, book in hand as the year changed (as well as the month).  On average, the goal was achieve.  I successfully read 41 books in 2011.

Zach (my boyfriend as you will come to know more about him) is great.  He found me that one book (fairly short) when I confessed to him the origins of my souring December mood.  He also makes light of the whole 'goal failing' thing.  Claiming that I am being too hard on myself: that I had a valid reason for not completing my goal, which is that I was working 40+ hours a week and was too tired on any time off to read.  The book he found for me to read was fitting: The Underachiever's Manifesto.  The book that I was trying to ferociously finish in time, also very fitting, was The Time Machine.  I have to admit, that is pretty funny.

Something that I wish to take away from this experience, is not that I am a failure at my own goals, but instead to recognize my successes when I put my mind to it.  So what if I was off 2 books for December, I was still up to 41 books for the year!  Even when I was in university studying English Literature I did not read 41 books.  So, two things: success is relative, and that I tried.  Whether or not I tried my best?  That I do not know.  It is hard to say what it means for a leisure's goal to be broken.  It does not effect my well being, nor does it effect others: grades are not dropping, rent and bills are paid for, etc..

Time to start setting up some new goals:
1) Slow down: take more time and care with the here and now (but do not stop altogether)
2) Save my money (ING's savings schedule and working will help for that)
3) Reading is still important on my list but this time I will be focusing on quality over quantity.  I have a copy of War and Peace and Moby Dick that I want to read over this next year (and hopefully some other books... if I can squeeze them in)
4) Write daily: whether it be in my journal/commonplace book or on any blogs and be it poetry or prose, just write.

I started this year's poetry already. Here it goes:

Happy New Year 2012

The clock flickered a bit
and the new zeros were glaring,
proudly lifting the new year up
for the 52 week fall that we have left.

The kiss that transplaced this temporal transfer
was just as fleeting as any other
but symbolically holds the same great weight
as good ol' January 01:
let's make some goals
that we may never keep.
At least we don't know what 2012 will be.
In good faith: happy new year.